worshipping

i stand
in
the cathedral
of
ancient wisdom
sitting
side by side
with
vulgar dreck

flames
beautiful women
angry young men
angry middle-aged boys
swirling galaxies
arcane secrets of bullying machines
exotic positions to imitate while
doing the oldest dance
humans know

all stand
as
mute idols
to
immortality

a reprieve

the
hangman
is not
hanging
today

but
he will
return
eventually

i breathe free
for now

my god
the sun
is beautiful

but

not as
beautiful as
the blonde's
legs
as she walked
by

it's
time to go
out
and play
russian roulette

like everyone
else

waiting

called
back
into
the
principal's office

a room
with a
table
but
no
clock

to
tick
off
the

seconds
minutes
hours
days

how much
longer
do i get
to

wait
wonder
dream
sleep
eat
fuck

there
is only
the
pain
sickness
fear

to tell
me

not as long
as
i
would
like

road rage

sweaty
blue-veined
spittle-flying

blind
mute
swearing

impotent
taunting

shouting at
a television
set

that can hit
back

the gnat

i soaked
in warm
blue
water

contemplating
the
horror
pain
despair
of death

feeling pity
for
me
everything

the gnat
buzzed
around my
head
ear
flesh

i closed
my eyes

i listened
i lost track
of
time
place
purpose

i opened my eyes
and
i saw

the gnat
floating

dead

holiday cheer

i stood in line
waiting
my mind lost
surrounded

by
pumpkins
and
skeletons
with goofy grins

"Oh, Christmas Candy!
Already!"
her voice
sudden
shocking

warm and cloying
as
the
holiday
she exclaimed

i
fought back
the
vomit
in my throat